TabithaFrankly

Outstaring statues and howling hallways.
Summer shoots, and soil and roots.
Whispers of hair, and the wild things of the lair.

I’ve been avoiding you Tumblr.

I guess i have. What can i say? LIFE got in the way? but wasn’t that what i was writing about anyway? 

I’m better when ive wrote. or if you like, i’m better when i write. 

It’s like i have released some thought into this massive void of space and it’s good because it’s out of my head which is where i need it to be.. out of my head that is.

It’s not even that i want anyone to read it, or like it or reblog it or whatever.

it’s just that it’s out of my head. you know they say (THEY, i know who do they think they are? THEM! they say a lot..) anyway, they say out of sight, out of mind. but for me, it’s out of head, out of mind. so if ive wrote it down, its out my mind.

Its late and i cant be bothered for punctuation, so excuse the lack of apostrophes, commas, and capitals. 

I say it’s late but its 10:47 PM but it was light up until half 9 so in the last hour its suddenly got super dark and that’s made it feel so much later than it is but, anyway void, i’m just going to leave it at that. I’m probably going to read some old poems and see if they stir anything in my head, not that i want to confuse my mind, or wind it up, i’m trying to unwind, but i like that by a poem, or a blog, i capture how i felt at that moment, and sometimes it helps, to read it again, because i can relate with myself… oooh i really have gone off on one now! haha.

One last note, ever notice how if something is WROTE IN CAPITAL LETTERS, WHEN YOU READ IT, THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD WHO READS IT, IS SHOUTING!

weird huh?

anyhow, i have definitely gotta get me some sleeping pills.

Just what you want to hear.

An old working project. 

When i began it, i was quite relaxed, plenty of free time.. but things got more stressful throughout the process and it ended being a distressed scene, but it is what it is.
The technical side is amateur to say the least and at first i saw it as a test canvas to be chucked but eventually i’ve come to view it in a different light and i figure, i actually rather like it.

Kidney. (lyric/poem)

This darkness has crept up inside my heart again.
I’m trying to shape my mind and you’ve washed it with poison.

I can’t cry, release this pain from up inside of me
And I have none to call my own.

Maybe this Is why I hadn’t seen her sooner.

You said I want a divorce. He said no

This darkness has crept up inside my heart again.

You can hurt me and cut me and do what you dare, i wont care.But hurt him and my blood runs cold, I’m split. My rage comes from ice blue depths.

This darkness has crept up inside my heart again.

And I’m getting uglier every day
The golden green leaves my eyes and black fills. It shares with my pillow and windowsills.

This darkness has crept up inside my heart again.

The bus.

The bus groans on as the man with dirty fingernails and a overgrown moustache with sprouts of orange and grey sits beside me, he holds the child with the corduroy trousers.
I ponder on cleanliness and mentally back away.
But I am a dreamer not succeeder
So there is nothing for me to say.

You may shrug me off.

You may shrug me off,

but it’s time i admitted it.

To myself, to earth, to life.

I’m better than you,

I’m sure of it now.

You were chasing and pining and longing for a smile,

i’d glance and you’d love my glinting  eyes of a child.

Too good for me, shrug me off now.

Mouths of myths convinced your mind somehow.

Your fond thoughts and how you knew my heart dwindle and diminish.

The fact that you even cared for me at all is as finished.

I am the same, as ever, as always. I’ve said that steadily.

I’ve not changed in all my days. If only grown readily.

I am better now, I am not without fault, but i am not spreading.

We were equal then, or so i admitted it so, you have dropped now, you’ve made yourself low.

I look at you, and then back to me. You’re locked in a cage, you cannot see.

But i am clear and i am free, i have my own mind, influenced by me.

He broke my spirit

He broke my spirit. I gasp.
So relentless and raging and unmovable. And he broke it.

Stinging eyes are what’s left of it.
Aftermath of a judge.
A decider. A man.
Unloved by me, infact possibly more despised than that.

But what’s worse than being unloved? Despised cannot be worse.
Surely, not having the one thing in life that people so search for, is punishment enough?
No for he has no heart. And no place near mine.

Frame of dust.

My frame is dust. It is mere powder.
I am a shell with a heart. It rattles between bone and air.

My heart is heavy, due to what I am unsure. Fear that it is not pure.
Hate.. That does fill holes in hearts and leak in as fast as a flood.
Hate is always trying to find it’s way in,
Anyway it could.
Love, love is dense. You could sooner see through the earths core. A compact substance. Thick and heavy and welcome in the holes in my heart.

But I am just waiting for my heart to give out, I sit here without a doubt.
Knowing it will come one day soon.
So i dispense the love in thy hand.
Hold It close and understand.

It just hit me.

It’s not until she, that I realised how much of my heart you held. And now you’re beginning to hold her heart I can hear mine cracking and creaking inside.

It’s as if I’m trying to keep the chance I once had, alive although its expired.
Chasing a dream, that you never acted on. Maybe it was me all along who sought after you, my heart was yours but concealed the truth.

This is a story of feeble bravery.
This is a story of a captivated heart.
It has an ending of two not three.
It has an ending. It cannot restart.